#004 - Gossip - pt. 2

MARCH 2017

Beware the flame of a firestarter.

If you live a life free of gossip, you also live a life free of its symptoms. If you start building a relationship on trust, you are immunizing yourself when exposed to gossip. And if you live a life of integrity, you will naturally be able to discern the difference between a trustworthy person and a dishonest one.  

When you hear a rumor about someone, your initial reaction should be silence and removal from the conversation. The person you have been talking to may not be the best person with whom you should place your confidence and trust. It has been said before that a person who gossips about others will, in turn, gossip about you.

Gossip is much like a fire in how it is kindled and spread; knowing what fuels a gossip fire is crucial to combat. A strike of a match and the right kindling can create a massive bonfire, just as a lightning bolt can create a wildfire. Gossip is more like a lightning bolt. Once words leave a person’s mouth, they can never be returned. And with the right environment, this has the potential to turn into an unstoppable and destructive force as is found in nature. So, the only way to prevent this is not to fuel the fire. 

Words fuel gossip, so silence is key.

Some people are gossip arsonists, enemies of Smokey the Bear, and forest rangers everywhere. That’s the last forest fire joke but beware of people I like to call firestarters. 

A firestarter enjoys starting a fire (be it a gossip fire or some other stirring up of drama) for the thrill and joy of being the hero who saves the day by dousing the seemingly uncontrollable flames. They achieve this by controlling the whole narrative the whole time. Once again, this all concerns spinning gossip and being at the spinning wheel. 

There are times when a fire grows beyond the control of the initial creator and, in turn, engulfs the gossiper in the flames—not literally but metaphorically. This is why you should run or, to use a Paul phrase, flee from gossip and those who purvey it. Gossip has plagued mankind for ages, and there are numerous Bible verses about its consequences. However, what they all have in common is control over one’s mouth and over one’s tongue. 

Here’s one of my favorite verses from Proverbs 21:

23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue

keeps himself out of trouble.

It is the same for all of us, Christian or not, and just like we are bound together by the God who created us, we are also bound together by language that can unite or divide us. And we all know our words' power to build and destroy. I remember a quote from the TV show Captain Planet: "The power is yours!” It applies here as well as to pollution. Talk about another gossip metaphor. Don’t pollute with your words! Clean up with your kindness!

Also, don’t be a firestarter; be an extinguisher of gossip.

An epic journey, the last nature metaphor.

I love hiking and being outdoors. Something is soul-sustaining about being surrounded by nature. When hiking it is important to stay close to the trail, this is especially important when traversing the mountains and cliffs that are scattered along most hikes. If you happen upon an area with multiple trails, the number of choices you may have in front of you may sometimes be baffling. 

One time I was hiking in South Carolina looking for a waterfall trail when I found a remote one that was truly away from it all. You had to travel a couple of miles down a dirt road and cell reception cut out as soon as you hit the dirt. I remember getting so caught up in the adventure of getting there that I didn’t notice my cell service slowly slipping away until it was too late. This is fine if you’re with a group, but it becomes unnerving when you are alone. I begin to think, what if my truck breaks down, what if I fall and break my leg, or worse yet, what if both happen and I somehow find myself trapped in an inescapable situation? That can be frightening, but the thought is fleeting, and I man up and decide to start on this hike. 

As soon as I leave my truck, I’m met by a cascade of whitewater rapids and multiple trails leading in multiple directions. To make it harder for me, I have no idea what kind of hike this is because I just followed some signs from the main highway. I’m an adventurer, and it’s a county-maintained park. My mind jumps back to my previous what-ifs and adds, 

“What if I’m kidnapped by mountain folk like you see in the movies?”

The right trail makes all the difference.

So, I begin hiking down these trails covered with roots, rocks, and other walking hazards, and I notice that there are two main ways to make my way to the bottom of this three-hundred-foot cascade. Not to get too metaphorical, but a low road followed the river’s edge, and a high road hugged the ridgeline down. Once again, I’m an adventurer, so I chose the one that was closer to the whitewater. Maybe I am not thinking about how the misty waterfalls coat the rocky surfaces of the path before me. 

Hanging off the side of a cliff with a good forty-foot drop was where my newfound choice had led me, with slippery footing to boot. See I had chosen the path that would get me closer to the action but failed to recognize that had I only taken the higher path not only would I have been safer, but I would also have realized how foolish the lower one would become. They started out the same, but with one, there were hidden dangers.  

After crossing the lower precariously positioned escarpment on the way down, I took the high road back and had a good vantage point to see the dangers of the lower path. Hindsight is always crystal clear. It would be an insult to anyone’s intelligence not to assume where I am heading with all of this. 

When you remove yourself from the drama and chaos of the firestarters and gossip spreaders, you embark on the high road. Once removed, you see how foolish the other path will soon become. In the end, there may be the same goal and waterfall, but the danger in the journey leaves scars on a person who takes the low road. 

So, I believe that a person who gossips is shifting focus away from their previous scars by trying to create new ones in others. The only way to escape this is to abstain from the practice and avoid conversations with people who do. Repetition of the main concept is always important. Misery loves company is kitsch. 

Putting it together.

I could tell you about numerous times I’ve been gossiped on. I could go into several stories about my encounters with rumors that have been started about me, but it doesn’t matter the source, the story, or the rumor. All that matters is the reaction, the response, and the removal of people who habitually gossip or environments that are breeding grounds for such. 

I pray for my enemies just as God has instructed us to, and not in a vengeful God will get ‘em kind of way. It is almost like I feel sorry for them, and through this pity, I pray that God will provide clarity and direction in their life as he has in mine. It is easy to live as a hermit, but it deprives a person of the necessity of being human, which is this social interaction with one another. Since this interaction is necessary for living, wouldn’t it be wonderful if this encounter could be nothing but good? Wouldn’t it be nice if every conversation and every word could be used positively to enrich and uplift? Well, the power is yours! So go out and change the world.