#034 - Washington - pt. 2

5.17.24

After our trek to Washington was completed, we found ourselves stuck in famous D.C. traffic on the way to Baltimore. At this point, this guy who I was traveling with, Aaron, whom I'd known for less than a week, had spent two days with me. This is a very intense experience, trust me. I am an intense and emotional human being who is an open book. Thankfully, we hit it off and grew into a healthy working friendship. But sometimes, this is not the case, and since he and we had spent time getting to know one another, it made me realize that time can grow you or shrink you relationally. And, like myself, you could be the cause, too!

Relationships are cultivated across party and crony lines in Washington D.C., America's Capitol, and starring city. Party lines mean you vote how your party wants you to vote; cronyism means it is because I'm voting for you back home. The relational credit established in friendships functions as a collateral bucket, and I am borrowing a phrase from an old mentor of mine. He described balance in relationships as a two-way street where each side establishes a scale and attention is paid to the transactional side of the relationship. He called it drops in a "collateral bucket." To focus solely on this would be the same as what a politician does and where the Washington dichotomy comes into play.

With two opposing forces, the middle is fought in the transactional part, which builds bridges and connects lands above the perilous waters of differing opinions. Let me unpack that. We didn't know each other well when Aaron and I started the trip, but we had already covered so much ground with the conversation when we arrived at our first stop. Aaron spent time sharing music and his journey in life. He also started the novel version of everything he had experienced so far. Through this, I could share parts of my life that related to his, and we quickly realized that we both had similar interests and experiences. This kind of encounter brings joy to my heart. We had unintentionally spent twelve hours talking when we arrived at the hotel for the first night—a great start to the trip and a new friendship.

I then mentioned that we could potentially go into Washington, and our mission became figuring out how to make it happen. That was the adventure from the first part of this post. I knew the city and the transportation; he had the technology and hyperfixation to help me plan. A synergy was built upon an honest conversational foundation of mutual understanding. We understood and knew each other's motivations, so it helped plan a successful side quest. Aaron is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts, so I would suggest places where I had eaten, and then he would call to check the allergens. When we were out and away from the hotel, we double-checked one another to ensure he had access to his EpiPens, and I made sure we knew where we were going. When He remarked, "Why can't people just get along?" I agreed.

If you think in extremes in life, you will naturally become an extremist in any situation. I know that is a loaded statement that will most likely trigger some, but consider your triggering an actual conviction rather than a trigger. And perhaps you have been convicted or convinced to believe in an extremist conviction. This is where you stop reading and introspect to see if you have any extreme convictions. You may surprise yourself. I do often.

So, are you an altruistic politician who is a professional at doublespeak? Or do you genuinely connect and cultivate mutual shared experiences based on common ground?

Some questions to leave you with for today and until next time.