#029 -Familia - pt. 1

AUGUST 2019

The crossroads of America intersect in a middle state named Indiana, and I was privileged to spend a month exploring the culture and people in my early thirties. The one thing you notice about America is no matter where you’re from, anywhere can feel like home. I travel for work, and work-related travel takes me far from my southern home in Georgia. I try to take a bit of Southern hospitality with me no matter where I go, but I’m always amazed at pockets of hospitality outside the American South. 

I’ve written before about southern gentleman’s agreements and my southern mama’s strict discipline, but never before about the hospitality that comes when a society is based upon and set up for the benefit of the golden rule. In the South, we tend to treat others how we want to be treated. That works great, but I’ve also written about the downfalls of people not treating you how you expect to be treated. My Biscoff story is my constant reminder of this. (I cannot post it due to my obligations to my current company) I do not think you should go into a situation thinking you will get the most out of it no matter what. That seems to set me up for failure. It's a pitfall of a positive thought.

While acting with humility, there is also the idea that you shouldn’t expect to receive anything from anyone apart from our father in heaven. Such disappointments in the outcomes of this perversion of the golden rule are because of the lack of humility in a situation. If you’re truly humble, you will be satisfied with the outcome all of the time because that is what humility requires. The idea that a humble person could get angry in a situation is a thought fallacy. But then again, I'm brought to the pitfalls of positive thinking, but you can be a positive, balanced, and patient human being. Balance is always the center point. But perhaps you would be prone to attack, much like Job in the Bible or like a defenseless Utopia ripe for takeover.

I write these journals as a time capsule for my future self. I always start with a topic. Today, I started writing about America, and perhaps I should veer off into the political realm for this one. What happens when a group of people has absolute power and control over another group? What happens when dictatorships are initiated, and what causes this to happen in the first place? 

Is despotism the end of the means of absolute power? And is absolute power a bad thing? Those last two are bad, for sure.

When I’m alone and let my thoughts wander, I constantly think about how to improve things. Traffic pains me, so while wasting time in traffic, I’m inclined to think about how timing lights and self-driving cars could help make traffic a thing of the past. Thinking about hospitality and treating others with kindness is how you make the world a better place with every encounter. As Christ-followers, we must be the example, not the rule, in our day-to-day interactions. The world is the rule, Christ is the exception, and we are the examples as Christians. 

So, how can we be better golden rule followers? How can we truly treat others with dignity and respect, no matter how they treat us? 

I'm glad I asked myself that question. It’s something that was central to Jesus' teachings. He summarizes this as the “Law and the Prophets,” referencing the old Jewish texts. Matthew 7 is the chapter in which Jesus mentions this summation. It is also a chapter of the book of Matthew that I reference whenever I make decisions. However, tons of verses emphasize this concept. Here are two of my new favorites. Skip ahead, but you can't skip Sunday School and still get to go to the buffet after church.

Early to Bible, early to verse. 

Galatians 5:14: For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

James 4:1 What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?

These are two of many verses that describe the same thing. Paul, the writer of Galatians, was trying to reconcile the old way of thinking by introducing the new way—the Jesus way. Jesus had said before that all of the law could be summed up in the great compound commandment. Paul emphasizes this in the verse from Galatians. 

James, the brother of Jesus, says the famous line about inner conflict - conflict within is the ultimate crux of conflict outside. This all obviously ties into how to treat others better. First by following Jesus’ example and secondly by quenching the quarrel from within. The Holy Spirit helps with the latter part of this three-part equation. Part three is loving God. Something I rarely talk about because it is so easy to love a God who loves us unconditionally. 

Taylor's three questions - revisited.

Whenever I’m in a new place and meeting people for the first time, I always try to get to know each person I meet. Normally, I ask a couple of pretty simple questions. The first, “What is your name?” This may seem like an overly simplified question, but when working in any situation, you must learn and call everyone you are to be working with by their name, even if you are only going to spend the day with them. It’s baffling the number of times I introduce myself but fail to ask the other party in the conversation their name. So much so that it is the number one thing I ask. 

Secondly, “Where are you from?” I must admit I ripped this one from my Spanish and Italian classes. Another funny thing is that you learn this question almost immediately when learning a foreign language. It is a great conversation starter, and many people are transplants from other areas who bring other regional differences to a work setting. If they are from the city you’re visiting, why not strike up a conversation about local cuisine or tourist spots? Some of the best local restaurants are word of mouth only. I learned all this when I traveled with several Christian bands. 

The last question is family-related, and I always ask it without fail: “Where are you in your family?” It normally opens up a lot of emotions, good or bad, and you can tell a lot about a person by their family dynamic. Only children need alone time to relax and recharge. The oldest children need to be in charge, and the youngest children always seem to need a lot of attention. Your family dynamic determines your personality a lot more than people give credit for. 

Your church family is the same in terms of influence. 

Living with the Land in real life.

Agriculture and farming were the things that domesticated man and made the nomadic wanderings of our ancestors a thing of the past. Grain and wheat farming led to bread, which led to beer, and the rest, as they say, is history. Around America, there are annual celebrations of agriculture, farming, and ranching. Awards are given to the biggest hogs and squashes, the best Bonsai trees, and floral arrangements. The best steer in the show can be auctioned for up to twenty thousand dollars—a lot of pride in farming.

The best part is that this celebration is all part of an under-18 organization called 4-H, and most of these young farmers and ranchers are the future of this dying industry. In America, many farms have gone out to pasture. This would be alarming, but the consolidation of traditional farms into modern industrial machines capable of surviving droughts and feeding the world has given rise to a new generation of farmers. 

I saw these animals up close while in Indiana and fighting with the Union for control over my basic job duties. I also got to meet with and talk to the young adults and children who raise livestock from birth to show them at state and national fairs and shows years later. It’s a long and grueling process that requires day-in and day-out devotion to the care, feeding, and rearing of this livestock to act and perform in a certain way. And at the end of the day, there is only one winner. One prize hog, if you will.

Sweet Home Alabama.

In the grand ol’ state of Alabama, there are trees everywhere. Also, in Alabama, there are wide open expanses of land with small towns littered about, seemingly in the middle of nowhere. (See my poem Alabama for my take on this) Many of these are leftovers from the golden age of the American railroad and are still aligned down vacant and now since removed tracks. In the South, this is true of a lot of old towns, but once the railroad left, some of them became ghost towns. They became disconnected from the outside world until the automobile revolution took place. Auto trails then replaced the railroads and sustained historic downtown areas before they were deemed historic. 

Then Eisenhower created his interstate system because, in the world of tomorrow, there’s no time to take the scenic route. In times of war, time itself is a valuable commodity. There’s no time to pass through every town along the way because they’re all the same anyway. No time to spend money at the local flea market or restaurant, once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all. Businesses began to close down, and after almost seventy-five years since the construction of the first interstates, downtown areas in these old small railroad towns are occupied only with rent signs and tumbleweeds. The fastest way to get from point A to point B is to bypass the distractions. 

In a big city, there are tons of things to do and plenty of distractions. 

In small-town life, well, here’s a fun story. 

The Fonze.

When I was a lad, I remember my dad and sister telling the same story about a cow they owned when they lived in rural Alabama. I want you to know how real this story is. So, my dad works for a farmer who gives him a male dairy cow as payment in return. My sister is ecstatic and immediately becomes attached when she bottle-feeds it for the first time. She even names it Fonzie after one of her favorite characters from the American television show Happy Days. The cow grows to maturity, and my sister loves it dearly and cares for it night and day.

One day, she comes home from school and notices Fonzie is missing. Trying not to panic, she asked my Dad where her pet cow was. Unfortunately, it was during dinner, and as no surprise—they were eating steak. My dad calmly states that they are eating Fonzie, and my sister hasn’t forgiven him for it to this day. That’s the fate of most of the animals I saw in Indiana, too. 

I imagine one of the little girls has had a similar experience. 

My sister has seriously harbored resentment ever since. Most other parents stream Disney’s The Lion King and call it a day—circle of life and whatnot. It makes it easier with Elton John singing in the background. In the 1980s in Alabama, this was how you taught kids the same lesson. I’m looking at all these cows and pigs and lambs, and it’s making me hungry. Maybe my dude mind can compartmentalize all this killing and eating these adorable and well-groomed animals. I try not to think of the anthropomorphized Disney versions.

It’s hard to compartmentalize when you name and have cared for an animal since birth. We all have fondness and attachment for things, and the family helps us heal. 

More on that tomorrow, though.