#014 - Connection - pt. 2

I started talking to one of the people from Atlanta, and I told him about how rubbing elbows is something I’m passionate about. He tells me it’s further from something that makes an introvert like him comfortable. I stress the importance of the connection point and how these people combined could fund anything they could possibly want. Perhaps he may have been offended at suggesting that one might sell out. Or perhaps we were both disgusted by the pageantry of it all. I believe that is what we agreed on. But something inside of me told me that connection can happen in a crowd of people on the other side of the country, perhaps on a mild fall night in the mountains of California. But the night faded, and the group left, and I was left wondering if they would acknowledge me in Atlanta or not. It was mainly because it was the first time I had had a real conversation with this group. Insecure thoughts are normal for most people.

The point of that long-winded explanation was that the people I connected with in California were not someone who suddenly became a part of my life. The connection was just at the event, and those connections, let’s call them faded connections, haunt an extroverted person such as myself. I strive for connection. Make it my goal in life. It makes the world feel smaller, especially in a Christian sense. God, the universe, and life connect people in fate-bound and intertwined ways that seem to be charted out from birth or aligned with the stars. Woven by the sisters of fate. 

Did this Ojai connection truly only exist in Ojai? Yes. Does this only happen in Ojai? No. It extends to everyday connections as well. It is pervasive in the monotony of retail interaction. It is spurned onward by endless corporate retreats and team-building activities. Connected organizations thrive. It’s common sense. Do a ropes course, people.

Earnest in the city.

Andy has been talking about connection lately because of a small group push. Small groups in Church environments are integral to the Christian body. It is where people go to connect on a personal level. Something you should know about the person writing this is that I have not been a part of a small group for many years. I tend to create my paths in life, and this one is much the same where I have (or better yet, God has) placed people in my life to serve this purpose. The ad hoc way of doing things becomes my personal friend group, but when my friends are not spiritual, the connection becomes one of material things. But let’s face it - God can be a downer sometimes. And non-spiritual people or non-Christians can see God's talk as a buzz kill. 

The last thing a person wants is to be the person who soaks the fun up like a biscuit in gravy. Forgive the idiom, but when trying to connect personally, perhaps the spiritual should be taken out, at least for the start. I feel myself bonded with people that I should not because of connections that were severed prematurely, leaving me with lasting negative effects. Or friendships that were supposed only to be topical, diving into the personal. Intertwining in the spiritual. Then, leading down the same path of perpetual destruction when Jesus and my spirituality are brought up. 

Don’t get me wrong - I’m a Jesus follower. I am a devout Christian, so I can delve into these heavy topics without wrecking my faith. But I struggle to connect with people who are not Christian, and Christians tend to naturally magnetize and attract one another, even unintentionally. I had four Uber drivers in a row who were all Christians for a month. True story. What is crazier is that half of those were in Indianapolis and the other two in Atlanta. The likelihood is greater in those two cities, but one of the drivers gave me a cross bracelet off her wrist for good luck when I was stepping into a new situation. Into a mission field. God always shows up in unexpected places. God always speaks through unexpected people at unexpected places and through unexpected things. Frequently in God’s own timing.

This is the ultimate connectivity—continually found in God through Christ, magnetized by the Holy Spirit. It is the tripartite agreement decided upon by the creator of our universe since its inception. Through the foundation of our Earthly life, this connects you with creation when you decide to put your faith in or agree to follow Christ. This is the ultimate way to connect with others in meaningful ways. All other connections are just being Earnest in the city. 

I told a friend that some people take broad forks in the roads of their lives and others ninety-degree turns. However, most of us are merely on siding tracks only one street over from the paths we truly need to be on. 

The prodigal LD.

When I write these things to an unknown audience, I tend to take my time and write over a few days or weeks. When I started this journal on connectivity, it was the height of summer, and I really had no destination for the ending of this one. However, through prayer and thoughtful meditation, God has placed an ending of reconciliation to my story of connection at an unlikely place and unexpected time with a group of people I had walked away from. 

I talk about building bridges and very little about burning them down to the ground and walking away. Not just normal bridge burning but blowing up the crossing, putting on your sunglasses, and never looking back ever again. Like, where once a bridge stood, now stands only charred visages of a once joined relationship. These relationships never get reconciled; if they do, it is merely a rope bridge to ensure a quick severance if any party should act out again. I hate negativity, so only a handful of people or organizations in my life fall into this category. One person and one organization are important for this story and are both things that have been integral parts of my story and my growth. But both were abusive and were not healthy places for me to be. Which is why I walked away, but my part is how I did it. And how I vowed never to do it again. 

This is the situation I was placed in this past week. One where I was confronted with the people I had once hurt and who had once hurt me. I could tell the story of walking away from the production company at a rap concert because I felt like I didn’t belong. Do you ever feel that you’re not supposed to be somewhere? The bonus was an estranged mentor who stood by and watched me get kicked and beaten down time and time again. Who I never thought was for me. Who lorded their position and power over not just me but others in a way that would make Francis Urqhart look to be a saint. And God, in the midst of my being busy, decided to throw yet another curve ball my way, as if I haven’t had enough, and on Halloween, all of these people, places, and things came together to challenge me. To test my faith. But this was not a holy holiday. This was a test of faith; the enemy will try to trick your faith and make you fall. Especially in front of people you influence. Just ask Will Smith. 

But I’m not a victim and refuse to be painted as one. I’m a survivor. I’m not going to give up on anything. 

Justifiable hatred - undeniable spirit. 

I had my reasons for the disunion. I had justification. But I didn’t expect the love of Jesus's holy spirit and our Heavenly Father's connection. I didn’t expect God to melt not just my heart but the hearts of those who had wronged me. I was arrogant and focused on the first day of a two-day gig. I wanted to do my job, get up and running, and get out as soon as possible. The day drug on, and I left emotionally and physically exhausted. I could feel the tension from all over the place. 

I went to bed, and while I was sleeping, I had a dream. One thing you should know about me is I rarely dream or remember my dreams. I haven’t dreamed in years. So when I do, I meditate on the dream, which almost becomes a prophetic vision. This dream was so specific that I have no trouble remembering it as I write. I was standing on a platform behind a lighting console at a stadium, and the place was packed. Believe it or not, I was not the center of attention. Then there was my mentor, this guy who had wronged me. This person that I, for lack of a better term, hated and thought reciprocated the hate was walking away from me, smiling and waving. 

“I hope your poop goes good!” and that’s all he said. I remember I was about to go to the bathroom in the dream. Then the crowd laughs hysterically, and I’m reminded of something my father would do to embarrass me unknowingly. Then I think, wait a second - hasn’t this guy been more like my father this entire time? And then, as I’m groggily trodding my way to the shower, I’m becoming less and less hate-filled. Less and less angry. And more filled with love than ever before. Then, the holy spirit started to convict me to make amends. After all, this was someone who was like a father to me, and I like his prodigal son. 

Back to the gig with the production company from which I walked away. Talk about tensions! Here was a dude who I hadn’t seen since we parted ways and also a production company who was in the same boat. I was expecting cold shoulders and stand-off attitudes from the bridges I burned. But I was instead greeted like a prodigal who had returned home to his brothers. It was an amazing God moment. God strives for reconciliation even if we don’t. And God will always connect you to the people, places, and things that will bring you success. It’s guaranteed in the life of a Christian. 

No matter the circumstance or depravity we find ourselves in, we are connected as Christians to the holy one, our heavenly father, through the combined inheritance of humanity’s connected future. This connected future is possible not only through innovation, smartphones, and the internet but also through our God, who gives us this ability and a planet with access to resources to fulfill our greatest achievements. Our greatest achievements should be a combined and connected effort by all humans on behalf of all humanity. This is stoked by the flames of ancient beliefs of one another. Christian beliefs changed the course of the whole world by connecting us humans and drawing us closer and nearer to one another. So sigularity arise! And let us connect like never before.